Hyrxx TV

Its over now

i realised that its over from a few sources, but most importantly, Sam wasnt even man enough to tell me to my face, i text him to tell him and he confirmed it for me.

he just made me waste 300 bucks to come back, i came back for him and to save my job at mcdonalds, i was only there to be working with him, since now hes leaving there i am forced to find another job, it sucks even more because i was offered a job over there.

i came back because i had a lot more faith that he was going to say yes, especially after getting a kiss from him, turns out sam was just using the kiss as a last chance for him to feel anything towards me, and now i regret that the kiss ever took place, as much as i really wanted it with him, he did it for all the wrong reasons,

ive been rather nieve to not see he immaturity and should have let it be over a long time ago

my obsessive nature wanted him so bad that i felt like i would do anything to have him, so it makes it really hard on me now that i cant after being teased for so long

i have to remove him from my life and i must go back to australia to complete that, so i am aiming to get back there as quick as possible.

he has screwed with me this whole time and theres no doubt about it, i dont really believe him about not liking me this whole time, as there is many things in there that showed me that he did, whether he was being genuine or not is a mystery,

its totally ok that he said no, its no ok that it took this long, or that he couldnt even say it to my face, let alone say anything, thats what im pissed of about and thats why i wont talk to him, i have done so much for him, and genuinely cared, ive wasted hours and days of my time, amounting to a whole year this thing has dragged on, and i didnt even get anything for it, i never expected anything but he lead me to believe id get something for my efforts

i feel really disrespected and i thought he cared more than this, its going to take me a long time to get over and has screwed up my future relationships because ill always be thinking about how maybe they dont like me but just dont want to tell me so that means ill be a lot more cautious when trying to find a guy, i still havent had a boyfreind now since he never said yes / gave me a chance / or tryed it out

i hope one day he has the balls to apologise properly and talk to me

im really fucked up about this……

test

i got sam to pick me up and take me to natcoll today, and although i wasnt able to put in my application the guy told me to come back on thursday to see if i can get in, so hopefully i can sort that out

i also got him to take me to the pharmacy for the patches that i needed, which was of relief to me since i want to continue my effort of quiting smoking.

and we also tidyed up his room and it looks much better, he also inspired me to change my room, although it wasnt messy i changed it around and now im much more happy with the layout.

later on my dad and sister arrived back home, despite leaving this morning for thier holiday away, so i was quite surprized to see them back, they were back because they had a car crash along the way which was pretty funny.

and i just watched war of the worlds on tv which was pretty awesome id have to say

today i got a text from logan. at first i didnt know who it was cuz i deleted his number.

the message said, hey wanna play,

once i found out who it was i replied with, if i ever see you again ill break your nose,

he continued to text me and wanted to know why i was angry at him,

i swear i wont be able to hold myself back if i ever catch him in the flesh, i really dont give a fuck about the consequences, i really just want to do some justice

fucking cunt